February 12, 2014 at 6:36PM by Laura Jayne Martin
Orgies are intimidating, and you’re definitely going to have a lot of, um, new experiences the first time you go to one. Don’t let that scare you off! Here are 10 ways to seem like sex parties are so old hat for you.
1. Get new underwear. Buy it, borrow it, or make it out of yarn and a clutch purse. You need to walk into that place feeling confident and every little bit helps — even the little bit that covers your littlest bits.
2. Do your research. Talk to people who have gone to the party before and ask specific questions. Scout it out online. In most metropolitan areas, there are sex parties for people who identify in many different ways. You might have to discuss something you don’t normally discuss with a friend, an acquaintance, your local sex shop employee, or even a stranger. But if you’re not willing to put yourself out there with your clothes ON, a sex party probably is not going to work out for you.
3. Follow the rules. The first rule of sex party is go to a sex party with rules. Any sex party worth your time will have rules that particularly involving safety and consent — namely that both are a must. They might have other less critical rules about where you can store your belongings, whether you must check items of clothing before entering, or even suggested costumes — it’s good to adhere to those regulations as well. Not being on theme is drastically more noticeable at a sex party. Remember when you didn’t wear green on St. Patrick’s Day? In this case “green” is “pants.”
4. Bring a friend. Or bring two, or ten. It is a party after all. If you don’t feel comfortable rolling into the sextravaganza with a minivan’s worth of pals, shoot for just one other person. Some parties even require you to bring someone to help promote responsibility, which just confirms the fact that the buddy system will never stop being relevant to your life. Even if they don’t require it, having a friend to talk to can help ease you into this new environment. If you don’t have one, make one in line to get inside! Remember this is a sex party, not the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team: there is no hope solo.
5. Be open-minded. That doesn’t mean do something that makes you feel unsafe. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. Some people go to sex parties just to watch and that is totally cool with everyone. However, don’t let your inhibitions cause you to judge others or to limit your experience either. Check your reservations where you probably were asked to check your pants, at the door.
6. Speak up. Talk to people — it’s the best way to meet more of them. Don’t be shy about telling them it’s your first time at this type of party; it’s a great ice-breaker. Either it’s their first time too and you can bond over that, or they’re a sex party veteran with tons of information to share. Win-win. Also, if you don’t like something someone is saying — or doing — absolutely speak up then as well. Talking is truly the unsung hero of the sex party, so please verbally sexpress yourself.
7. Make the first move. You may not be used to being forward, but you’re most likely going to have to do it. What’s great about a safe, rules-having sex party is nothing will happen that you don’t make happen. So, make it happen.
8. Choose your footwear wisely. Sure, you want to look good. Just remember you might not be wearing any pants. Pick shoes that flatter a clothing-free look and protect you from questionable floors.
9. Be careful in hallways. If your body is not covered with clothing, certain parts might protrude. The same goes for others. Pass with caution.
10. LOL, literally. Don’t be afraid to crack a smile or a joke. Sometimes a “sexy” atmosphere can leave people stiff. Relax, enjoy yourself, and have a laugh. It should be pretty easy to do so. Most parties are BYOB or serve alcohol, so there’s plenty of social lubricant. Also, it’s a sex party so there’s plenty of actual lubricant. Once you make that killer joke about lube, things will probably go pretty smoothly.
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